JOHN
NEWTON’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY WRITTEN IN THE FORM OF LETTERS TO A FRIEND.
Service to
Chronology
Born -
Mother died
–
Father
remarried
Boarding
School in
1735 Left school at 10 years old
1736 Goes to sea with his father at 11 years old
Makes
several voyages with father till 1742
Influenced
by Lord Shaftesbury’s book Characteristics
December
1742 Father gains opportunity for him to go to
Sent on
business to
LETTER II.
SIR,
John Newton’s Mother
I can
sometimes feel a. pleasure in repeating the grateful acknowledgment of David, "O Lord, I am
Thy servant, the son of Thine handmaid; Thou hast loosed my bands," The tender mercies of God towards
me were manifest in the first moment of my life: I was born, as it were, in His
house, and dedicated to Him in my infancy. My mother, as I have heard from
many, was a pious, experienced Christian. She was a dissenter, in communion
with the late Dr. Jennings. I was her only child, and as she was of a weak
constitution and a retired disposition, almost her whole employment was the
care of my education. I have some faint remembrance of her care and
instructions. At a time when I could not be more than three years of age, she
herself taught me English, and with so much success (as I had something of a
forward turn) that when I was four years old I could read with propriety in any
common book that offered. She stored my memory, which was then very retentive,
with many valuable pieces, chapters, and portions of Scripture, hymns, and
poems. My temper at that time seemed quite suitable to her wishes: I had little
inclination to the noisy sports of children, but was best pleased when in her
company, and always as willing to learn as she was to teach me. How far the
best education may fall short of reaching the heart will strongly appear in the
sequel of my history; yet, I think, for the encouragement of pious parents to
go on in the good way, of doing their part faithfully to form their children's
minds, I may properly propose myself as an instance. Though in process of time
I sinned away all the advantages of these early impressions, yet they were for
a great while a restraint upon me; they returned again and again, and it was
very long before I could wholly shake them off; and when the Lord at length
opened my eyes, I found a great benefit from the recollection of them. Further,
my dear mother, besides the pains she took with me, often commended me with
many prayers and tears to God, and I doubt not but to this hour I reap the
fruits of these prayers.
My
mother observed with peculiar pleasure my early progress, and intended from the
first to bring me up with a view to the ministry, if the Lord should so incline
my heart. In my sixth year I began to learn Latin; but before I had time to
know much about it, the intended plan of my education was broken short: the
Lord's designs were far beyond the views of an earthly parent. He was pleased
to reserve me for an unusual proof of His patience, providence, and grace, and
therefore overruled the purpose of my friends, by depriving me of this
excellent parent, when I was something under seven years old. I was born
John Newton’s Father
My
father was then at sea. He was a commander in the Mediterranean trade at that
time. He came home the following year, and soon after married again. Thus I
passed into different bands. I was well treated in all other respects; but the
loss of my mother's instructions was not repaired. I was now permitted to
mingle with careless and profane children, and soon began to learn their ways.
Soon after my father's second marriage I was sent to a boarding-school in
My father's second marriage was from
a family in
In this period, my temper and
conduct were exceedingly various. At school, or soon after, I had little
concern about religion, and easily received very ill impressions. But I was
often disturbed with convictions. I was fond of reading from a child;
among other books, Burnet's Christian Oratory often came in my
way; and though I understood but little of it, the course of life therein
recommended appeared very desirable, and I was inclined to attempt it. I began
to pray, to read the Scriptures, and to keep a sort of diary. I was presently
religious in my own eyes; but, alas! this seeming goodness had no solid
foundation, but passed away like a morning cloud, or the early dew. I was soon
weary, gradually gave it up, and became worse than before: instead of prayer, I
learned to curse and blaspheme, and was exceedingly wicked when from under my
parent's view. All this was before I was twelve years old.
Providential
deliverances
1. Thrown
from horse
About
that time I had a dangerous fall from a horse. I was thrown I believe within a
few inches of a hedgerow newly cut down. I got no hurt, but could not avoid
taking notice of a gracious providence in my deliverance; for had I fell upon
the stakes, I had inevitably been killed. My conscience suggested to me the
dreadful consequences, if in such a state I had been summoned to appear before
God. I presently broke off from my profane practices, and appeared quite
altered; but it was not long before I declined again. These struggles between.
sin and conscience were often repeated; but the consequence was, that every
relapse sunk me into still greater depths of wickedness.
2. Saved from death through being delayed
I
was once roused by the loss of an intimate companion. We had agreed to go on
board a man-of-war (I think it was on a Sunday); but I providentially came too
late; the boat was overset, and he and several others were drowned. I was
invited to the funeral of my play-fellow, and was exceedingly affected, to
think that by a delay of a few minutes (which had much displeased and angered
me, till I saw the event) my life had been preserved. However, this likewise
was soon forgotten.
Reforms
At
another time the perusal of the Family Instructor put me upon a partial
and transient reformation. In brief, though I cannot distinctly relate
particulars, I think I took up and laid aside a religious profession three or
four different times before I was sixteen years of age; but all this while my
heart was insincere. I often saw a necessity of religion as a means of escaping
hell; but I loved sin, and was unwilling to forsake it. Instances of this I can
remember were frequent in the midst of all my forms; I was so strangely blind
and stupid, that sometimes when I have been determined upon things, which I
knew were sinful, and contrary to my duty, I could not go on quietly till I had
first dispatched my ordinary talk of prayer, in which I have grudged every
moment of my time; and when this was finished, my conscience was in some
measure pacified, and I could rush into folly with little remorse.
My
last reform was the most remarkable both for degree and continuance. Of this
period, at least of some part of it, I could use the apostle's words, "After
the most straitest sect of our religion, I lived a Pharisee." I did
everything that might be expected from a person entirely ignorant of God's
righteousness, and desirous to establish his own. I spent the greatest part of
every day in reading the Scriptures, meditation and prayer; I fasted often; I
even abstained from all animal food for three months; I would hardly answer a
question, for fear of speaking an idle word. I seemed to bemoan my former
miscarriages very earnestly, sometimes with tears. In short, I became an ascetic, and
endeavoured, so far as my situation, would permit, to renounce society, that I
might avoid temptation. I continued in this serious mood (I cannot give it a
higher title) for more than two years, without any considerable breaking off.
But it was a poor religion; it left me in many respects under the power of sin,
and so far as it prevailed, only tended to make me gloomy, stupid, unsociable,
and useless.
Such
was the frame of my mind when I became acquainted with Lord Shaftesbury. I saw
the second volume of his Characteristics in a petty shop at Middleburg,
in
December
1742
This
letter brings my history down to December, 1742. I had then lately returned
from a voyage, and my father, not intending me for the sea again, was thinking how
to settle me in the world. But I had little life or spirit for business. I knew
but little of men or things. I was fond of a visionary scheme of a
contemplative life--a medley of religion, philosophy, and indolence; and was
quite averse to the thoughts of an industrious application to business. At
length a merchant in
I am
aflectionately,
Yours in the
best bonds.